End of the World?

by Eileen Weber

With all this hype about the end of the world and Judgment Day, I'm just wondering what the environmental impact will be from this "massive annihilation" we're expecting this weekend? Surely, all that fire and brimstone will adversely affect climate change. Think of all those greenhouse gases.

And, I'm assuming post-Judgment Day will mimic the fires of Hell, so please expect a hot summer this year.

A few questions that have been gnawing at me: How do you pack for the end of the world? Should you bring clean underwear, or is that simply a waste of time? And if the end of the world doesn't come, do the believers get to drink the blue Kool-Aid? I mean, how disappointing would that be? You sold your home, quit your job, gave away all your worldly possessions, only to find out you're just homeless, broke, and stupid. Kind of a bummer, isn't it?

Harold Camping, the "mastermind" behind the copious billboards predicting The End, proclaims that massive earthquakes will kick-off our imminent destruction. Maybe it's just me, but I'm thinking Japan might feel a bit anxious about the prospect of another one. Let's review: Big earthquake, subsequent tsunami, nuclear meltdown, death, destruction, and homelessness. Yup, think we've got it covered.

Japan's disaster took place on March 11, 2011. Perhaps Camping's math was just a little off. Obviously, he didn't carry the one or divide by pi. So by my calculation--which frankly doesn't involve math so much as it does common sense--Judgment Day has already happened and apparently the Japanese were the only targets.

If Camping, a preacher who runs his Family Radio and religious group in California, is right, the chosen few will get plucked up into Heaven and the rest of us miserable sods will have to tough it out until October when the world is destroyed. Good news, though. According to MSNBC, you won't have to worry about Fido when you leave him behind. On such web sites as Craigslist, a number of people have offered to pet sit while you're gone for only $50 a pop.

MSNBC also reported that Camping himself plans to watch the world come to an end on TV. Why be an active participant when you can be a doomsayer from the safety of your La-Z-Boy? (Just out of curiosity, will there be any commercials? In that case, I may want to record armageddon on my DVR. I like to skip to the good parts.)

But if you're The Daily Show's Jon Stewart, Camping has another reason to sit out the end of the world: He's 89 years old. At his age, he may not even make it to Saturday.

Regardless of when it happens, eventually we will all die. That's just a simple truth we all must accept. But how we die is a different matter. Will it happen through mass destruction or just a slow, painful death? To the environmentalist, we've been slowly--and needlessly--destroying the planet year after year.

Many claim that global warming is single-handedly ruining our environment while others debunk its existence. There are those who work tirelessly to reduce waste and preserve our resources as others carelessly throw their garbage around and ignore water conservation. Let's not forget, however, there was a time not too long ago when environmentalists were--and in some cases still are--placed in the "doomsday" category.

Time marches forward and with it inevitably comes the prophesy of doom and gloom. Harold Camping as his followers are only some of those naysayers. But unlike a New Yorker cartoon in which the end of the world is depicted with more than a little irony and a cardboard sign, they have chosen to be much less passive in their approach.

Will the world end this year? Only time will tell. In the meantime, I'm packing clean underwear. Just in case.

Images courtesy of fanpop.com and NewYorker.com, respectively.

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